Hello good people,
It's been a while since my last blog post. To say I have been busy is an understatement. Between building this foundation with my wife, writing a dissertation, family, and life, this blog has fallen to the lower end of the priority ladder. Before you know it, nine months have passed since the last post. You see, true priorities rarely slip that far down. That now begs the question of whether the blog is a priority or an obligation. Hmm🤷🏾 . The latter is more of a possibility.
The same can be said about spending quality time with your kids.
Our kids are gifts from God (well, most of them...😂🤣j/k), and prioritizing them is one of your duties as a responsible father. Memory lane time. Do you remember how it felt to spend time with your father? Some may say, "I didn't spend time with my dad because he worked a lot," or "my dad left me at a young age," or "I never knew my dad." Maybe you are one of those fortunate individuals who had an active and present father. Therefore, you might say, "yes, and I have fond memories of spending time with my pops." Regardless of your experience, there is an emotional connection to the amount of quality time spent with your father.
Now dads, think about this for a second. Twenty years from now, if someone was to ask your children about their childhood memories of their father, how would they respond? Would the feedback be positive and inspirational, such as " My dad is my hero"? Would it be dull and bland comments, such as " He was just there"? Or would that question stir up a hurtful or unpleasant, such as " My dad abandoned us"? Well, I have some good news. God gave us today as a gift of today. It's called the present for a reason. You have a chance to right the ship. Today is your opportunity to influence your child's 2042 response by prioritizing them.
If the above example didn't push the needle for you, think about it from this viewpoint. If you are not shaping your son or daughter's perspective of what entails a solid man, then who is? I guarantee you the likelihood of your son mimicking a standup guy from social media is improbable because we know what social media has to offer and the control it has on the younger generation. Social media can care less about character. It's mostly about image, wealth, and entertainment. Although the substance is available, it's less attractive than foolishness, fashion, get-rich-quick ideas, or social media influencers. Similarly, your daughter must witness an accurate depiction of what a gentleman is like and how she deserves to be treated. Either way dad, you are shaping your children's perspective of men and fathers, whether you are an active father or a deadbeat, so why not control the narrative as much as possible?
As a father of three daughters, I CHOSE to be active and present for a multitude of reasons. 1) I desired to raise my kids. Who better to raise your kids than the one who helped create them? They have your DNA, and that should mean something. Not only that, but there is a good chance your kids will inherit your characteristics and traits, so why leave them on their own to navigate through their youth without a father? There are life lessons that you can undoubtedly share that could change the trajectory of their lives. 2) I didn't want another guy influencing my kids or lineage. Whether you think about it this way or not, your influence on your child's upbringing will affect how they raise their kids, which affects how your grandkids raise their children. Generational blessings and curses are tied to your decision to parent or not.
Fathers, your kids need your influence and time, not money and gifts. Although the ladder is welcomed, they won't remember them. They will remember the impact you had on their lives. The wisdom you shared. The love you expressed. The feeling of knowing that they can always call on their pops.
Again dads, we can find time to do hobbies and other leisure activities. God is no respecter of man, and neither is time. So while you are of able mind and body, ensure you are actively developing and spending quality time with your kids.
At Our Fatherless Foundation, we believe in helping bridge father voids with youth and advocating for fathers. We are blasting 🚀off into 2023 and are excited to launch our CareConnect MENtoring (CCM) program and Present Father Legacy(PFL) programs in Q1! CCM pairs fatherless youth with Christ-centered MENtors. PFL will begin with a monthly in-person meetup for fathers to provide fellowship, encouragement, and resources necessary to strengthen parenting skills. Also, we will host our 2nd Annual Father and Son Retreat Weekend in Panama City Beach, FL 🏖️ during spring break 2023. More on these programs and events are coming soon.
We would love to partner with you! This is a huge endeavor, and we need your support. We set a goal to raise $25,000 towards three months of operating expenses such as equipment, mentorship program, office space lease for PFL, insurance, marketing, and other operating expenses. Funds will also cover the Father and Son Retreat Weekend, as we charge nothing for this phenomenal event for our families. If you want to partner, please visit www.ourfatherless.org/donate. All donated funds are tax-deductible.
Thank you for reading! Please remember to visit us on all social media platforms at ourfatherless. Until the next time…God bless🙏🏾❤️ .